VD

For anyone but me, the following is probably one of those "you had to be there" moments. That's fine. Let me just reassure you that I am not a freak, my best friend was not a stalker, and the whole thing was a joke. Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

Probably the most amusing Valentine's gift I ever got was from my best friend at the time. He was one of those weird artsy kids that all high schools have, and I just loved him to pieces. Anyway, I got home on February 14th, junior year of high school to find my mother rather horrified, sitting at the kitchen table with a large ball jar containing: 1 pig's heart, several Barbie doll parts, and topped with a note reading "If I can't have you no one can." Awww, thanks Doug. You're the bestest.

Honestly though, for someone who despises VDay as much as I do, it was probably the best present ever.